Choice of marriage partner: look before you leap

“Choices made wrongly is disastrous, correct choices you make leads you to profiting”

Do not leave your choice of marriage partner to your parent, relations, friends or anyone for that matter, because you will be the one to live together with your choice forever.


It means to select or decide on a particular thing, situation or direction from an array of varieties.

That means you select from two or three things placed before you; it could be a choice of job, where to live, friends, etc.

But in this wise we are restricting ourselves to the choice of marriage partner.

The choice of marriage partner you make today, will speak for your marriage tomorrow.

The choice of marriage partner you make today will paint the picture of the type of marriage you will have tomorrow.

The choice you make will determine where you arrive tomorrow; whether into marital bitterness or bliss. You choice will determine that.

The Bible says concerning choice:

“But if you don’t want to worship the LORD then choose here and now… Joshua 24:15 (CEV)

The above scripture implies that we are created with the right to make our choice. That is why you choose the school you attend, the dress to wear, what to eat and of course, the God to worship.

Choices are very powerful and should not be rushed into; because you will live with whatever choice you make for the rest of your life whether good or otherwise.

A good example of a right choice, a godly choice is found in the story of Ruth, a Moabites she made the right choice when she decided to team up with her mother-in-law, Naomi and the God of Israel (Ruth 1:10-18).


The result?

A place in the genealogy of our Lord Jesus Christ (Matt 1:5)

As you plan to marry in the future or may be a couple of months from now please examine carefully and prayerfully your choice of marriage partner.

The world at large is fed up with broken marriages. Divorce has become the norm now in our society. I pray the choice you make will not result into broken marriage or divorce.

By the way, God is out rightly against divorce, hence, it is not an option after you must have married.

Just like Ruth, my dear brother or sister reading this book, you can choose first and foremost to team up with God Almighty for wisdom to make the right choice. God says in His Word.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to Him.”

James 1:5 (NKJV)

The contemporary English Version renders the above scripture this way…

“If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous…”

The above scripture is good news to every child of God and that includes you! Just because you are a graduate, does not make you wise to handle the complexities of life.

Oh! You are a master degree holder, great, oh! You are having a good and well paid job with a lot of perks –congratulations.

But there are many that possess more than these and their lives are in shambles already.

Dear brother and sister, you seriously need the wisdom that God gives to make right choice of marriage partner.

Additional key to making the right choice of marriage partner is found in the Word of God, and it says.

“With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgments. Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow. Don’t ever think you are wise enough but respect the LORD…” Prov3:5-7(CEV)

This brings us to the differences between courtship and dating…

A lot of singles have mistaken dating for courtship. The two are wide apart.

Courtship is a Biblical model for the relationship between a man and woman that leads to marriage.

Everything done by both (man and woman) is within the context of the fear of God.

Courtship spans from the day a man makes his intention known to a woman and the woman accept such proposal until they eventually marry.

Dating on the other hand put romance and sex before commitment or marriage consideration. Dating happens a lot of times and more often than not ends up in abortion of unwanted pregnancy, bitterness, heartbreak, financial loss, suicide, fitting and so on.

The following case studies that I have decided to include in this free report will give you a general pattern most men and women follow in the name of loving the opposite sex. Yours is to read and consider your own life.


When I met my husband shortly after leaving the university, I thought I had stuck gold. He had his own house, ran a thriving business and showed me a lot of love and affection. When I got pregnant, he insisted we get married and we had lavish wedding. He’s been a good father to the two children of the marriage.

In the last few years, I’ve been regaled with stories having oral sex with some. He came home with funny smells on his person and the last strand was when a niece who came to stay during an examination complained he forced her to have sex with him.

In the end I quietly left and now am living in a flat with my kids. He’s still generous father but I kick myself for getting married to such a sex maniac. Why hadn’t I seen the signs before I married him?

COMMENTS: I feel for this woman she could be my sister. A lot of women are experiencing such disappointment why because the foundations of such marriages were faulty she could not see the true character of this man because only God can reveal the heart of men. Unfortunately for her God was not in the picture right from the onset.

The Bible says

“There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” proverbs 14:12 (NLT)

“it ends in death .” Death of such marriages, self-esteem and many more.

Every man or woman is responsible for whatever choice they make as regards every area of their life, but for things to work, the fellows must follow the Divine Blueprint for choosing a marriage partner based on the infallible word of God.


I lived with my partner for almost a year before he showed his dark side. He was a gentleman when we first started dating that was why I move in with him. Then he began pushing me about whenever we had an argument. I warned him that if he did it again, we’d be over. But the next time he held me by the throat and threw things at me, so I left.

Now he’s begging me to come back, promising to change. I love him I’m scared of him now. My friends think I should give him a second chance. What do you think?

COMMENTS: once again we see this scenario repeating itself going by what we earlier examined in case study I. A woman that’s going to get married to a man who proposed love to her should not live with him under the same roof until they are legally married. Like I wrote earlier dating putts romance and sex before commitment or marriage consideration. Dating leads to heartbreak, unwanted pregnancy and sometimes suicide. A lot of us want to eat our cakes and have it, it is not possible.

Man (woman) is a complex being; nobody can change any man; only God can do such depicted in proverbs 21:1 which says the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the river of water, he turns it where ever he wishes (NLT). In essence only God can change the life of people hence God must be involved in your life before you even go ahead to choose a marriage partner. The lady that wrote in cases study two: going back to the man is not the solution but making God her number one in her life. It is only then every other thing in her life will take shape.

Having read the above case studies, what is your conclusion as regards how you should handle your choice of marriage partner?

You see my friend; you can save yourself a lot of headache, regret and grief if you critically consider your choice of marriage partner.

To do that God must be involved in your life in order for Him to guide you on whom to choose as your marriage partner.

God says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest”. Matt28:11 (NLT)

The life generally comes with a lot of burdens: emotional, financial, material and so on. Only Him can give you solution and rest.

I am happily married by his grace and I know how the Lord helped me in my decision making despite hordes of temptations that came my way.

I not happy seeing a lot of beautiful life suffering as a result of choosing the wrong fellow as a marriage partner.

By His grace, I have seen and heard a lot of cases as regards mistakes and error made by men and women when it comes to the issue of who to marry. We must learn from such to guard against ourselves becoming a victim.

Hence, in considering choice of marriage partner, you must look before you leap. This because as a Christian it is till death do both you part. I wish all the best as you prayer choose a marriage partner.



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