The Bachelor Watch: Tractor of Love

TIME

The new season of The Bachelor sallies forth despite the fact that love is a lie. Bachelor farmer Chris Soules is on his journey to find a farm frau, and he will kiss every milk maid, plow every field and leave a string of farmer analogies in his wake to do it. One editorial note: because the only two men on the show are both named Chris, it’s necessary to take a page out of the Bachelor playbook (which is also a preschool playbook) and use initials to differentiate between the multiplicity of Chrises.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelor:

Best Recycling: When we last saw The Bachelor, one of the contestants was so eco-friendly she wanted to recycle herself. Kimberly, the yoga instructor, has done too many up-dogs to leave without even talking to the man of her dreams. She can’t understand why things didn’t…

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